Queen of the Grammar Nazis
by Kuramastrass
Summary: A stranger appears in Living World, origins unknown. She calls herself the Grammar Fuhrer, and she's bent on wiping out all grammatical incorrectness and creating a master race of spellers and grammarians. Yusuke, of course, isn't so fond of that idea.
1. The Mission

**This is the first chapter of a pretty dumb fanfiction. I know it is.**

**I don't own YYH.**

**Yeah. Read and review, okay?**

**Enjoy chapter one of "Queen of the Grammar Nazis".**

"This is _terrible_!" Yusuke exclaimed.

"_What's_ so terrible?" Kuwabara asked, trying to look over Yusuke's shoulder.

However, Kurama snatched the small paper Yusuke held and read it aloud:

_A strange girl as appeared, calling herself the Grammar Fuhrer. Her origins are unknown, and whether she is human or demon is uncertain. She wants to wipe out all grammatical incorrectness and create a master race of spellers and grammarians._

The green-eyed redhead looked up at the ferrygirl. "This _hardly_ qualifies as an emergency."

"What are you _saying_, Kurama?" the Detective yelled. "Of _course_ this is important! We have to stop her before I can't say _your mom_ anymore!"

Kuwabara, having only heard _your mom_, said, "That's what she said."

Hiei left. He thought Koenma's message would be about something important, like Yukina being kidnapped. And now he was afraid that the stupidity of the Detective and the Idiot would rub off on him.

"Well, if you want to defeat this girl, you'll have to do it without my assistance," Kurama continued, folding up the note and sticking it up his left sleeve. "I don't think this qualifies as an emergency."

"Are you _crazy_? We _need_ you!" Yusuke screamed.

The fox-demon chuckled. "No, you don't," he said. He turned and started to walk away. "Fighting fire with fire doesn't work," he called over his shoulder. "Try using water."

- -

"What do you think Kurama meant?"

"Water is the enemy of fire," Keiko answered. "Try fighting her using incorrect grammar." Then she abruptly shut her mouth, realizing that she had helped them.

"Hey, thanks." Yusuke smiled at her.

"Don't expect me to help you any more, though. I agree with Kurama. This is _not_ an emergency."

"What is _wrong_ with you people?" Yusuke screamed. "If we don't stop her, we'll all be talking like _nerds_! And you're just going to _let that happen_?"

"_Yusuke_, get _out_!" Keiko crumpled a piece of paper into a ball and threw it at him.

Yusuke stormed out. "Idiot," she huffed at his retreating form.

He met Kuwabara outside. "What did she say?" the redhead asked.

"She thinks we should use our words to fight her," he told him. "We just can't use any right grammar."

He nodded. "Makes sense."

"So now all we have to do is find her."

- Kuramastrass -


	2. Meet Shannon

**Chapter two... woo-hoo.**

**I don't own YYH. But I am a Grammar Nazi. (And no one can deny it.)**

**Yeah... I think that's about all I have to say. This chapter might not even make any sense... It made sense to me, though... Hey, A'n'S! Want to become my official beta?**

**Right. Enjoy chapter two of "Queen of the Grammar Nazis". Review! Thanks.**

"I wonder where I can find him..." Shannon looked up and down the street, hoping to be lucky and catch sight of the redhead. "His house must be around here somewhere... Maybe I can find it if I make a systematic search of the area..."

But what she was looking for, she didn't actually know. When she found it - _if_ she found it - she probably wouldn't even notice.

It was always the same, though. No matter what the fanfiction was, it was the same. The fangirls agreed. And if the fangirls agreed on something, then it should be taken as fact.

It was a small house. Small, but nice. It was... simple. Cozy. The house was almost always white, except in a few fanfictions where the house had been brick. And there was always - _always_ - a beautiful rosebush in front of the house.

This is what Shannon had her eyes open for. But was that _really_ what the house looked like?

The girl saw such as house on her right a few houses down as she crossed a street. She ran for it.

- -

Kurama was trying to do his geometry homework. This would normally be a simple task. Geometry is a simple thing for a thousand-year-old fox-demon. But he couldn't focus.

A strange aura was wandering around town, and it was very distracting.

As the aura got closer to where he was, and he became more distracted, he went to his window.

- -

Shannon stood in front of the house, the house she now knew was Kurama's. The redhead had come to the window. So now she was certain.

"Hey!" she called up to him. "I was looking for you!"

_Me?_ "Are you her?" he asked.

"Am I _who_?"

"The one they call the Grammar Fuhrer."

"I prefer _Queen of the Grammar Nazis_ myself, but Grammar Fuhrer sounded better. So yes." She paused, then asked, "Could I come in?"

"Certainly."

He went downstairs to tell his mother that a friend was coming in for a short visit, and he met Shannon promptly at the door.

"Hello," she said, greeting him properly.

"Hello," he echoed.

He led her upstairs to his bedroom and shut the door behind them. He sat at his desk where he had previously been doing geometry. She chose to sit on his bed. It was the most comfortable bed she had ever come into contact with – of course. There could be nothing less for the perfect Fox.

"My name is Shannon," she began, to fill the silence.

"That is much more suitable than the Grammar Fuhrer. It's prettier."

She blushed. "I didn't think anyone would take me seriously if I said my name was Shannon."

"You wanted to be taken seriously?"

"Yes. I wondered what you would do if I appeared to be a threat."

"What _I _would do in particular?"

"No. You, Yusuke, Koenma... the lot of you."

"And _are_ you a threat, Shannon?" He was smiling now.

Her heart skipped a beat when she heard him say her name. "No, not really," she answered.

"Then why appear to be one?"

"I was curious, like I said."

They fell silent.

"What do you have against incorrect grammar?" he asked after a minute or two.

Shannon exhaled. "It's a long story."

"I'm listening." He smiled again.

"One day I discovered that writing was my passion. I decided that I was going to become an author. I began to pay attention in English class. I began to learn grammar with a newfound excitement."

She took a breath. He made a motion for her to continue.

"I started correcting the grammar of everyone around me. I became uptight about it. Every time I saw a mistake in something I was reading, I would cringe. I still do. It drives me insane."

She stopped and looked to him again, to make sure she could continue. Kurama nodded.

"As time went on, it started to bother me more and more. I started seeing IM-speak in formal essays. I even saw leet-speak once. When I got to high school, teachers expected this. They expected us to be stupid, expected us to be ignorant." Shannon took a breath and then sighed. "No one knows their English grammar, and yet they try to learn Spanish, or French. I'm sorry, but if you can't speak your first language, you are an idiot, and you have no right trying to learn a second one."

Kurama nodded in agreement.

"Worse, they think it's _okay_. They think it is _acceptable_ to have 'sry' rather than 'sorry' in a formal paper. I've heard people say 'lol' or 'omg' out loud. One day the entire English language will be lost to the language of text. I'm not going to sit by and let that happen. It _won't_ happen."

"You feel strongly about this," he said once he was sure she was done ranting.

Shannon nodded. "Yes."

"Why are you here?"

She started folding and unfolding her hands nervously in her lap. She didn't know what there was to be nervous about, but the tone in his voice... "I'm here to change that. I'm here to save the English language from text and IM-speak."

He leaned toward her, his green eyes bright but serious. "No, I mean... why are you _here_ in _this room_?"

She swallowed. "I've thought this out. This would require creating a regime not unlike that of Hitler's. But rather than persecuting people, I would incorporate everyone into my master race of spellers and grammarians."

"That is why you have chosen the name Grammar Fuhrer," he realized, straightening up. "It's a play on grammar Nazi. Rather than being simply a Nazi, however, you are Fuhrer."

Shannon nodded and swallowed again. "But I can't do this alone. I'll need help. Some people will be easy. Others will resist. I'll need more power if I am going to control them." She looked up at him. "So, Kurama... will you join me?"

- Kuramastrass -


	3. Grammar Holocaust

**Haha... I think this is seriously the shortest chapter I've ever written (so far).**

**I don't own YuYu Hakusho.**

**Hmm... that's about it.**

**Well, sorry this is so freaking short, but... enjoy chapter three of "Queen of the Grammar Nazis". Review, and hang tight for the last chapter, coming soon...**

"Where do you think she is?"

"How the hell would _I _know, Urameshi?" Kuwabara responded.

"I know! Let's go ask Koenma!"

- -

"Join you?" Kurama asked, raising an eyebrow.

Shannon nodded and swallowed again. "Yes."

"I suppose... as long as you aren't planning a Grammar Holocaust." He was smiling again. He was... _teasing_ her.

"No, there will be no killing. I will rule over only the language, and everyone will become a part of my master race."

"And how do you plan to do that?"

It was her turn to smile mysteriously. "You'll see."

"Well, Shannon..." he began after a moment. Again, when he said her name, her heart skipped a beat. "Yes. I will join you."

- -

"Do you know where she is?" Yusuke asked.

Koenma looked through a few papers on his desk. "She's at Kurama's mother's house," he finally told them.

_"What?"_ the Detective screamed, running out of the room.

"Why's she at Kurama's?" Kuwabara asked the toddler-prince.

"I don't have the slightest idea."

- Kuramastrass -


	4. Utopia

**Well, this is the last chapter.**

**Disclaimer? Go back and check the three previous chapters.**

**Er, I don't think it's the greatest ending, but... it is finished. It's over. Done.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed "Queen of the Grammar Nazis"! Review!**

"Well, I should probably get started on creating utopia," Shannon said after a few minutes. She got off the bed and bent down on one knee. She closed her eyes, concentrating on her hands she had outstretched toward the floor.

Pinkish-blue ribbons of energy started flowing down her arms, and they collected in a spherical shape at her palms. They spun around, moving, living things, growing larger, until Kurama broke her concentration.

"Yusuke and Kuwabara are here."

- -

The four stood on Kurama's front lawn. Yusuke and Kuwabara stood facing the house, Yusuke on Kuwabara's right and slightly in front of him. Shannon and Kurama stood facing the street, Shannon on Kurama's left and slightly in front of him.

"Kurama, what are you _doing_?" Yusuke was the first to speak. Kurama winced as he screamed that name so near his mother. "She's the _enemy_!"

"Maybe we can compromise," Kurama murmured once he recovered.

Yusuke and Shannon both gave him a "Kurama-whose-side-are-you-on?" look.

Shannon tried to concentrate harder on her energy while stayed focused on Yusuke and Kuwabara. Her energy was fading, and she couldn't let that happen. However, she couldn't take her attention off Yusuke and Kuwabara, either. They'd attack the moment her guard was down.

"Yeah, maybe we can," the other redhead agreed.

Their gazes shifted from Kurama to Kuwabara.

"What do you want?" the fox-demon asked. He hadn't known her long, but he guessed she probably wouldn't be willing to compromise. Negotiating would have to be his job.

"Slang," Yusuke answered instantly. The others stared at him, non-comprehending. "We want to be able to use slang. And IM-speak."  
Kurama glanced at Shannon. "Do you accept those terms?"

She thought about it. That sounded reasonable. But she wanted to say no and see what she could argue for. How eager was he to defy her?

When she didn't answer, he kissed her. It was brief, but it was wonderful.

He broke away, knowing that that ought to get her to compromise.

Shannon pondered for another moment. "I can allow slang," she said slowly. "IM-speak, too... but diluted, and only on the internet. Leet-speak is gone, though."

Yusuke nodded. "Done."

The girl nodded back and closed her eyes. She her total concentration to her energy. The balls grew until they exploded with a white light that took over everything.

- -

A few weeks later, Shannon and Kurama showed up at Sarayashiki Jr. High. They met Yusuke and Kuwabara as they (and the rest of the student population) walked out the doors.

"Hey!" she called with a smile from the redhead's side. She waved. "You two actually went to _school_ today?"

"Shannon?" Yusuke asked, as he had finally learned the girl's name. "You're here?"

"Of course! Did you think I would just _disappear _after creating my utopia?"

"Kinda... Where have you been?"

"Oh, you know, around," the girl answered. "We got out of school early, so we came to see you guys."

"You're going to Kurama's school?" Kuwabara asked, shocked. He had thought she was their age.

She nodded. "Yeah, but the only thing I really know is grammar. Everything else is _way_ too advanced for me. Luckily for me, though, I have my own personal tutor." She turned and looked meaningfully at Kurama.

"So where are you staying?" the Detective asked.

"Kurama's. We told her that I'm some cousin or other and I need a place to stay. She bought it."

"You _lied_ to your _mother_?" he asked the redhead.

"That _surprises_ you?"

He thought about it. His mother didn't exactly know that he was a thousand-year-old fox-demon. "No."

"Hey, I've been to Kurama's house once or twice," Kuwabara realized. "You aren't sleeping on the couch, are you? There aren't any guest rooms."

Shannon and Kurama glanced at each other again. He reached out and grabbed her right hand. She spoke.

"We're cousins, remember? And the two of us always shared a bed when we went camping..." She saw the faces Yusuke and Kuwabara were making. "Oh, don't look at us like that," she said. "We don't do anything... _too_ bad." She was smiling now.

Kurama was smiling, too. He bent over and kissed her on the cheeck. Shannon blushed.

Yusuke and Kuwabara gave him a confused look.

"She's really not so bad," he told them, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, which made her blush again. "Once you get to know her."

"Hey, want to come to the arcade with us?"

"Sorry, Yusuke, but I promised Mother we would be home soon..." He turned to leave. "Shannon, let's go."

Like always, her heart skipped a beat when he said her name. She turned to go as well, but then she called over her shoulder, "Yusuke?"

He stopped and turned. He and Kuwabara had started walking away in the opposite direction. "Yeah?"

"You still would have been able to say _your mom_, you know." Kurama had told her about that.

And with that, she and Kurama walked away.

Change is a normal part of life. Change is sometimes for the better, and sometimes for worse. It's been said that taxes and death are the only certain things in life; everything else is constantly changing.

But there are other things in life that are certain.

"Your mom," the Detective muttered as he caught up to Kuwabara, trying it out, seeing if it felt the same when he said it.

"Yeah, that's what she said."

And then the two of them began fighting.

Some things never change. Yusuke and Kuwabara would always be stupid, like all males before them and all males to come after them.

And as long as there is language, there will be grammar Nazis to protect it.

- Kuramastrass -


End file.
